Breaking Free from the 'Fix Yourself' Mentality: Reframing Success for Neurodivergent Professionals

You’ve spent your whole life being told to ‘fix’ yourself—but what if you were never broken to begin with? It’s time to reframe success for neurodivergent professionals. Here’s how.

Have you ever been told your communication style is ‘too much’?

• "Too verbose."

• "No filter."

• You think you can do everyone’s job better than them."

• "Why are you like this?"

• "Why can’t you just blend in?"

• "You’re weird."

The list goes on. If any of this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. 

I recently asked this question on Substack: 

In just five days, the post received 13 likes, 3 replies, and 4 restacks—and it’s still growing. 

This isn’t an isolated experience. It’s a pattern. 

Studies show that by age 12, neurodivergent children—especially those with ADHD and autism—have heard up to 20,000 more negative messages than their neurotypical peers. [(Source: Dr. Russell Barkley, ADHD expert and researcher)]

Neurodivergent individuals are also more likely to be bullied and feel isolated in school, workplaces, and social settings—often because their natural way of thinking and communicating is misinterpreted as inappropriate, aggressive, or unprofessional. 

But here’s the truth: 

You were never broken. You were never meant to function like everyone else. The system is what needs to change.

Why Traditional Career Advice Fails Neurodivergent Minds 

From a young age, many neurodivergent people receive the same messaging: 

- "Stop talking so much." 

- "You need to pay attention." 

- "Why can’t you just act normal?" 

- “You owe me respect because I am your elder.”

These messages don’t stop in childhood. They follow us into adulthood, shaping how we view ourselves in the workplace. 

Instead of being encouraged to leverage our unique strengths, we are told to fix everything that makes us different. 

Most career advice doesn’t account for neurodivergent minds. Instead, we’re told to: 

• "Just be more organized"—without any strategies that align with how our brains function. 

• "Act more professional"—which often means masking and suppressing our natural communication style. 

• "Network the right way"—without acknowledging how exhausting and unnatural traditional networking can feel. 

The problem isn’t us—it’s the archaic one-size-fits-all approach to success. 

Accommodations Aren’t Cheating—They’re Your Competitive Advantage

Too many neurodivergent professionals hesitate to ask for accommodations, fearing they’ll be seen as less capable or difficult.

But here’s the reality: Every high-performing professional relies on tools and support.

- CEOs have executive assistants managing their calendars. 

- Analysts use AI-driven dashboards to simplify data. 

- Creatives use software automation to streamline their work. 

So why are neurodivergent professionals criticized for using noise-canceling headphones, flexible schedules, or alternative communication styles that make them more productive? 

Accommodations aren’t crutches—they are performance enhancers that allow us to do our best work. 

The moment you start working with your brain instead of against it, everything changes. 

Reframing Success: Fulfillment Over Conformity

Success for neurodivergent professionals doesn’t mean forcing yourself into a neurotypical mold. It means finding environments, careers, and work styles that allow you to do your best thinking.

• Success isn’t forcing yourself into an office if you thrive in remote work. 

• Success isn’t pretending to be less direct in meetings if clear, concise communication is your strength. 

• Success isn’t faking small talk if your real superpower is deep, meaningful connection. 

  
  

If the standard definition of “professionalism” doesn’t include people like us, maybe the definition is the problem.

Five Tips for Building a Career That Works for YOU

1. Identify Your Energy Zones – What kind of work fuels you, and what drains you? Shift your focus accordingly. 

2. Challenge the ‘Shoulds’ – Just because everyone else follows a certain career path doesn’t mean you have to. 

3. Find ND-Friendly Employers – Look for workplaces that truly value neurodiversity (not just performative DEI). 

4. Reframe "Areas of Opportunity" as Strengths – What’s seen as a “flaw” in one workplace might be your biggest strength elsewhere. 

5. Own Your Brilliance – You don’t need to be “fixed.” You need to be seen, valued, and supported.

Need Support? Let’s Build a Work-Life Strategy That Works for You 

If you’re a remote professional struggling with: 

• Communication challenges in a neurotypical workplace 

• Overwhelm and burnout from trying to "fix" yourself 

• Finding a work structure that allows you to thrive 

I offer one-on-one coaching to help neurodivergent professionals build sustainable, fulfilling careers—without masking or burning out. 

Learn more about my coaching services for remote professionals: Benford Talent Alchemy – Coaching for Remote Professionals.

Your Turn – Let’s Start a Conversation

• Have you ever been told to “fix” something about yourself that was just part of who you are? 

• Have you experienced workplace bias for communicating in a neurodivergent way? 

  
  

Drop a comment below and share your story. Let’s normalize the idea that we were never broken in the first place.

If this resonated, share it with someone who needs to hear it.